How to Deal With Difficult People

by: ShielaMul | Total views: 111 | Word Count: 658 | View PDF | Print View

In business, like the rest of life we
will often encounter people who are just that little more difficult
to get along with. Some use the term ‘personality conflict’ to
describe the situation, yet this suggests that there is some sort of
unbreakable barrier and that the problem is somewhat unfixable, since
it is highly unlikely somebody is going to change their entire
personality for the sake of better work relations! A far more
rational solution is to change specific behaviours, rather than
personality traits.

Situations with difficult employees
tend to occur over time; after all it is not very common to hire
someone and find them impossible to deal with after the first week.
Usually it is small irritating personal habits that progress over
time into larger annoying behaviours after being left unattended. In
any relationship, both people influence the other's behaviour. In
almost every conflict situation, both parties bear some
responsibility for the way things end up.

Focusing on blame will produce no
results and only irritate you further. The most proactive thing you
can do in these situations is focus on what YOU can do to make things
better. It doesn't matter who is at fault, if your primary concern is
to rectify the situation. Try to consider your contribution in this
unpleasant situation; perhaps you have just written them off as a
lost cause, their own worst enemy? Now try to consider ways in which
you can change this; maybe by getting more involved with them
personally, making an effort to become friends.

A good idea is to approach the
situation in a non- accusatory tone, preferably when you are both
calm and in a private situation. Address the problems you are
experiencing, once you have finished let them have their say and be
sure to listen intently so they know you are truly concerned and
interested. When possible find things to agree on, and offer
something in return.

If you are clearly frustrated it will
show. It is important that you deal with things firmly, but nicely
and without dramatics. To remain the bigger person you should retain
quiet dignity, even if the other person becomes rude or nasty. No-one
is suggesting you smile and turn the other cheek in the face of
abuse, but if you counter-attack or react in kind, you will almost
always make the situation worse.

Avoid gossip of any kind as you will
start to involve other members of staff. As well as being disruptive
to the organization, it will make it more difficult to fix the
situation. Gossip only focuses on the worst part of a person and
paints them in a very negative light. Along with being unfair, it
affects your thinking and actually shortens your patience, especially
when you get covert support from others.

Like every situation, prevention is
better than cure, by using a combination of politeness and limit
setting these situations can be completely avoided. However,
sometimes the conflict becomes so polarized that you will have to go
to outside sources to seek help. If the person in question is a
fellow staff member, one possibility is to approach your team leader
and explain the situation. Do your best not to convince your boss how
‘bad’ the other person is, it will just make you look like the
problem.

At the end of the day there is
generally a solution to every problem. If the situation persists and
you and the person in question continue not to see eye to eye, then
perhaps mediation or some other form of intervention may be
necessary. In any case you must remember that there are two sides to
every story, maybe you aren’t being as reasonable as you originally
thought? Be open to others suggestions and opinions, and be aware of
your rights and responsibilities in a conflict situation, as well as
theirs.

About the Author

Sheila Mulrennan from Professionaldevelopment.ie specialises in writing articles relating to Communication Skills, Presentation Skills and Personal Development Training. Visit her website at www.Professionaldevelopment.ie  for more.

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