Words of Wisdom for Single Parents

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 by: Sarah Mitchell

The cost of being a parent and raising a child in todays
world is constantly increasing. The risk of your child becoming
involved in problem behaviour is also greater. Parents must work
together as a team to ensure the brightest future for their children.
But what if there is no team. No other person to rely upon. This is
what millions of single parents deal with everyday. But it is not only
the parent who sees this as a gloomy situation. Children are quite
often left thinking that they are the reason for a separation or
divorce. It is the child who must attend father and son day at school
without a dad. They have to grow up with all the stigma attached to
coming from a "broken home". These are just a few of the many potential
problems that a single parents household are faced with. This article
is aimed at providing single parents with some strategies for raising a
good child despite what other people may say.

Concentrate on the positives

Although it may be impossible to see at first, there are
some positives for single parents. The main one being less fighting,
bickering and tension around the house. This will benefit your child in
the long run as it becomes a more child friendly environment. Try to
see your situation as a new found freedom and feeling of independence.

Develop a new relationship with your child

A child must obviously be comforted at such a time, but
also made to see that you are the boss. Do not let your child think
that because there is now only one parent around, they can do whatever
they please. Children need rules and routine, regardless of how many
parents are around.

Ask for help if you need it

Suddenly single parents will probably find that their
workload doubles or triples at first. If your children are old enough,
be sure to set them some chores around the house each day to take the
pressure off yourself a little. Speak to other parents as much as you
can. You will be surprised how often they will be happy to help out. It
may just be taking your child to the movies or to a sports game on a
Saturday morning, but every little bit helps. Above all, don't feel as
though you have to do absolutely everything on your own.

Do not use your children for emotional support

Children need to have fun, play with their friends and
enjoy their youth. Do not become overly possessive of your child or
look to them for emotional support. This quite often leads to the child
feeling as overwhelmed as you are. Although you may not be ready for
another romantic relationship, try to talk to other adults about your
emotions.

Kids react best to routine

In order to create a stable household envirnonment with
children, their must be rules and routine. Simple things like having
dinner at the same time each night, bed time, homework time etc... If
you can provide a schedule for them, they will feel a sense of
security. Of course, the correct dosage of attention and affection will
also provide and sustain a nuturing environment, but a combination of
the two will always work best.

Don't forget about you

For single parents with a house full of kids and only one
parent to do all the work and all the worrying, it may be easy to
forget about ones self. It is crutial to the well-being of your
children, that you stay healthy. If you feel run down, ask another
parent or relative to mind the kids for a night or two. Try to remember
the things you enjoy doing and dedicate a little bit of your time to do
these things. The way a parent feels is quite often reflected in a
child. If you are stressed out all the time, then this may directly or
indirectly affect your child. So, try to stay calm around the kids when
you can. Take a deep breath, or wait until the kids are out of the car
before you start screaming!

Try to remember that it is all about quality not
quantity. There are many two parnet households out their that are doing
a much worse job than yourself. Just beacause a parent finds themsleves
on their own, doesn't mean that things won't work out. Remember, not
just anyone can run a house, raise kids and do a thousand other things
all at once. Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while. You have
a lot to be proud of. Best of luck to you!

About the Author

Article written by Sarah Mitchell of NamesToBe.com. Article free for reprint as long as this info box is present and all hyperlinks remain active.

Baby names and meanings at http://www.namestobe.com.

Single parenting at http://www.namestobe.com/singleparenting.html.

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