The Last Day of 'Who Cares?'

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Yesterday was the last day of ‘Who Cares?’ for my oldest
child. Today is his first day of high school. From now on, his choices
will have a long-term effect on his life. Nothing will ever be the same
for him.

Our culture doesn’t make a big deal of that moment when
a teen is officially considered an adult. Many older more traditional
cultures have ceremonies and such so the teen and everyone around him
knows from that day forward he is considered an adult and is expected
to behave as such. By the time they’re old enough to move out, they’ve
had a few years to get comfortable with the idea that they’re adults.
In America, we just say that at the age of eighteen you are old enough
to vote, to get married, to serve your country, to go to jail, and to
move out of your parent’s home. There’s no ceremony, no transition, no
empowering.

If we’re honest, we have to admit that by the time our
children enter into high school, our influence has seriously dropped
off. That’s not to say that our love, presence, and role modeling isn’t
still crucial. It’s just that we’ve already taught them most of the
really important stuff that we were going to teach them. We’ve taught
them to believe in themselves, or we haven’t. We’ve taught them about
religion, or we haven’t. We’ve taught them the Golden Rule, or we
haven’t. We’ve taught them to say no to drugs and premarital sex, or we
haven’t. You get the idea. By the time our children are entering into
high school they know what we think of life and what we think of them.
They know if our approach to life and towards them is basically
optimistic or not. They know if we value higher education or not.

I told my son the truth, “From the day you walk through
those doors into high school, I no longer have any real control over
your life. You’re in charge. If you decide to flunk out of school,
there’s really nothing I can do about it. If you decide to blow off my
rewards and punishment systems, there really isn’t a damn thing I can
do to stop you. If you blow your grades, all I can do is deny you
driving privileges. Legally, I don’t have to let you drive. Otherwise,
I can’t really do much to force you to be a good student. I can’t force
you to stay clean and sober. I can’t force you to surround yourself
with quality people.

You stand four inches taller than me and weigh as much
as I do. What am I going to do? Spank you? Put you in time out? I can
ground you only if you agree with me that you should be grounded and
only if you choose to honor my authority. I can’t physically force you
to stay home at night. I can’t physically force you to show up for
classes. Your size alone dictates that I no longer have power over you.
I can only lead from a place of having earned your respect.

Up until now, nobody really cared what kind of grades
you got. The grades you get now effects whether or not you get into a
college. The grades you get now effects whether or not you get
scholarship money. Whether or not you join in student government,
compete in sports, participate in the arts, it all matters now. The
grades you get and the activities you choose to participate in now
effects your placement in society when that eighteenth birthday hits.

Will you be a high school dropout or going away to the
school of your choice entering into a field of study that fascinates
you? Will there be scholarship money to pay for your schooling or will
you be forced to struggle and work your way through school? The grades
you get now effects how hard will you have to work in the future. The
better your grades, the more activities you excel in, and the longer
you stay in school, the easier you will have it later.

From this day forward, you’re in charge of your destiny.
You decide. How much paid vacation do you want as an adult? How many
nice toys will you be able to purchase? How nice of a place will you
live in? How important are expensive clothes to you? How many hours per
week will you want to work to support your children? Will you travel?
Will you love your job? You actually have the power now to start
choosing for yourself and designing for yourself what your future will
look like. You do not have the freedoms nor the responsibilities of an
adult yet, but you do have the power to create your own dreams. That
means that from this point forward you are really secretly in charge of
your future

As a toddler, I taught you society’s opinions of right
and wrong. As a child, I taught you the laws of cause and effect.
Throughout the process, I did my best to help you find your unique and
beautiful authentic self. You aren’t legally free to leave and do as
you please, but you are now at that point where I have to teach you how
to create a life for yourself that is meaningful and worthy of you and
your incredible heart. From this day forward, you get to choose your
soul’s journey.

Yesterday, you played at the beach as a carefree child.
Today, you began your journey into adulthood. From this point forward
people are watching, they care about your work ethic, your personal
conduct, who you surround yourself with, and who you have chosen to
become. You have four years to design and build your wings. They will
carry you when you leave the nest. Choose wisely, my dear.

Who cares? You do.”

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

About the Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.

skye@tomorrowsedge.net

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