Should Mom Move Closer?
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Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2006 Time: 12:00 AM
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by: Molly Shomer
Things to Think About Before You Relocate Your Elderly Parent
Your home is now miles and hours away from your parent. The best thing would be to move Mom or Dad closer...or would it? There are a lot of reasons why it might make sense to relocate an aging parent closer to the rest of the family.
But, before you suggest a move, give it some serious thought. Be sure that this move would really be the best thing for all of you. Once you have made the commitment to relocate, it will be next to impossible to undo.
Following are some important things to think about before you make the decision to relocate an older person:
- Can my elder get along without me (at least for a while?)
- If my elderly parent don't depend on me for regular
assistance now, can the move wait until I have had a chance to learn
about local elder resources here?
- If I am working long hours, how much will I be able to assist my parent after the move?
- Who will select, pack, or sell possessions? Will a house have to be sold?
- If my elderly parent don't depend on me for regular
assistance now, can the move wait until I have had a chance to learn
about local elder resources here?
- Social Life
- Is my elder confident enough to venture out and to make
new friends in a strange place? Will s/he be leaving a good network of
supportive friends?
- If my aging parent is driving on familiar streets
now, will s/he be able and safe to do so on unfamiliar territory, where
the traffic may be much heavier? Is transportation available, or will I
have to be the chauffeur?
- Is my elder confident enough to venture out and to make
new friends in a strange place? Will s/he be leaving a good network of
supportive friends?
- Important Medical Questions
- Does my elder have a long and close relationship with
current physicians? Can we find equivalent physicians who will treat an
elderly person? Many specialists, in particular, have reduced or closed
their Medicare practices.
- Will health insurance transfer to this area? HMOs are geographically limited.
- Will the climate be a concern?
- Does my elder have a long and close relationship with
current physicians? Can we find equivalent physicians who will treat an
elderly person? Many specialists, in particular, have reduced or closed
their Medicare practices.
- Financial Issues
- Is the new cost of living affordable? Social Security and
retirement income will not be adjusted if your parent moves to a place
with a higher cost of living.
- If s/he is currently receiving state benefits or
assistance, what will the requirements be to qualify in the new
location? Even within the same state, there is often a wait before
services resume at a new address.
- If a house must be sold, what are the financial (tax and other) consequences?
- Is the new cost of living affordable? Social Security and
retirement income will not be adjusted if your parent moves to a place
with a higher cost of living.
And this is the most important question of all...What does the elder think? If he is competent and able to make his own decisions, does he want to relocate? Will you spend hours of effort and anxiety trying to find the “perfect” answer, only to be told to mind your own business?
© 2002 Molly Shomer, All Rights Reserved. You are free to use this article, in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link and email link. Please notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:
About the Author
By Molly Shomer of The Eldercare Team. Please visit Molly's web site at http://www.eldercareteam.com for more elder care articles and important resources for those who are caring for aging adults."
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