Menopause Manners For Men

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 by: Valerie Otto

Menopause Manners for Men

If over 30 million women are going through menopause, think of what the men are going through!

By Valerie Otto

Menopause is not what it used to be. Women are
approaching this time of life differently – the new outlook is
energized as most women are healthy and become free of many past
identities and responsibilities. There are natural options I know many
women find valuable in dealing with the bothersome symptoms at this
time and I’m hoping to see more women incorporate another valuable and
natural ally crucial in making this next stage truly exciting -- our
men! But we can’t do it alone. So based on our completely unscientific
research, here are tips I hope our better half will find useful.

1. Be ready for emergencies. This doesn’t require
dialing 911, but you still have to move fast. Sometimes the symptoms of
menopause may require your loved one to exit quickly. Don’t ask
questions at the time, there is nothing worse than having to explain
yourself in these situations--she’ll be sure to tell you later. Just do
what she says and move out of the way.

2. Put yourself in her heels. Imagine what it would be
like to potentially go through times of sleepless nights, hot flashes,
sweats, memory loss. Are you going to be in a great mood all the time?
I don’t think so. Think of what this would do to any one’s psyche. And
yes, there are options available to her to help with this, including
natural ones like Oona and flowers (no carnations).

3. Your marriage is not falling apart. Although you
should be ready for a fundamental change. For a period of time, your
spouse may seem, well, “not like herself”. This may be demonstrated in
any number of ways. She may seem more needy, more vocal, more stubborn,
and more emotional. Do not discount this experience. Big tip, men,
embrace her, understand that this roller coaster “shall pass” and use
it as an opportunity to bring you closer. If you listen, you will be
able to sort through what is important to your relationship and open up
a healthy discussion.

4. Sex? It still exists. Just don’t panic. While her
sex drive may dip a bit, it doesn’t have to be dormant. Now there are
many ways to deal with it. Be resourceful, be creative, keep it fun,
and don’t be judgmental or rush to conclusions.

5. Men-O-Pause---men just pause, stop—look at your life.
Just like she is doing. Menopause is a time where a woman really takes
a look at her life and her health – not only because she feels her body
changing. It isn’t a bad idea for you either. Use it as an incentive to
add some “newness” to your life -- like getting in shape for a long
bike trip or make a habit of taking long morning or evening walks.

6. Don’t be a smart ass…Educate yourself, do some
research, read some books, go on line. Impress her with the new lingo.
Just think how impressed your partner would be if you knew that the
reason she was having hot flashes is most likely because her LH levels
are high. Her mood swings can be managed. But can yours? For her,
there’s natural products out there but for you…find some!

7. The Big “M”—do men go through menopause too? In a
way, YES! Actually it’s called “andropause”, and while it happens more
gradually than it does with women it is defined as a decrease in male
hormones. In his book, "Male Menopause," author, Jed Diamond said the
phase "begins with hormonal, physiological and chemical changes that
occur in all men generally between the ages of 40 and 55, though it can
occur as early as 35 or as late as 65. Common symptoms of male
menopause, according to Diamond, include needing longer to recover from
injuries and illness, less endurance for physical activity, weight
gain, thinning hair, sleep disturbances, irritability, and reduced
interest in sex.. SO don’t be so judgmental!

8. Feeling alone? The kids, we hope have moved out. It
all seems to be happening at the same time. And while most of us, both
men and women, look forward to our freedoms sans kids; it’s still an
enormous adjustment. Can our kids survive without us? Can I survive
Menopause? The answer is to pull it together and turn this into a time
to experience a new beginning.

9. Duck and Cover! That means pass her off to her
friends. This is a great time to encourage her to seek out women’s
groups, new relationships and old friends going through the same thing.
Let them take over the kitchen, the couch and the TV. You’ll be much
happier in the morning.

10. Keep your sense of humor It’s not nice to say but a
lot of the experiences in menopause can be funny… if not at the moment,
certainly a week or a month later. If you can make her laugh and see
the lighter side, know you are doing your part in setting the course
for a beautiful sunset together. She won’t laugh if it’s insincere.
Enough said.

About the Author

Valerie Otto has long been involved in issues of women’s health and well-being. In 1995, she founded Becoming, Inc., a mail order fashion house that answers the specific needs of women who’ve undergone cancer treatment. Becoming, Inc. is now the largest mail order company of its kind in America. Oöna her new venture offers a natural alternative to hormonal replacement therapy for women experiencing menopause.

For more information on Oöna: please visit www.oonausa.com

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